Zoë Stagg

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Sprechen Sie Bieber…

Usually magic takes my radio show from a studio to Spain, Greece, England, Norway, Italy, and Germany. This weekend, a bus did.

It takes a lot of buttons to play the Bieber.

We packed a couple of traveling circus boxes of gear to the Edelweiss Lodge and Resort and set up two days of shows.

It’s a little odd doing that which you usually do alone, in public. All of a sudden people can SEE what your face looks like when you’re giving the time and I.D.ing the Bieber. But it’s also great — suddenly you KNOW that you’re not talking into nowhere. You can take requests in person, show kids how the board works while you’re doing a show, and if you’re lucky enough, you’ll get told you’re doing a good job.

I was going to say this is my first Navy coin, but I would be horribly remiss — my first was a Bolivian quarter fashioned into a coin with a Post-it saying “You’ve been coined.” I love that one, too.

One of — no, my favorite part of my job is putting people on the radio who have never done it before, or who are nervous about it, or who might just go all rogue on me.

Making people comfortable and making them sound good is the best. With kids, you have to be ready for the nodding, grinning silence. Adults are easier to wrangle. And some find out they kind of love it. Give me a game co-host who will roll with it, and I’ll give you at least one funny hahah. Maybe as many as two.

And right behind my kit, was the Alps. Snow is like fairytale frosting, always. I have no doubt I’d hate to live in a place covered with it for a whole season, but to visit is quite fine.

I met a whole crew of West Coasters in Garmisch for the U.S. Ski Team races — we could see them fly down the mountain like greased fleas without even having to go outside.

In fact, my ski instructor (who wisely didn’t let me start at the top of the race course) and the incredibly helpful guy who hooked me up with boots, were both from Oregon. Pacific Standard Time, represent (and etcs.)

I grew up an hour from Mt. Hood, and I came to Germany to get taught to ski by a guy from Hood River. Weird. And I didn’t even fall down! I did however, meet my nemesis.

Germany is wonderful. Cozy snow-covered houses tucked among cross-country ski trails with hardy souls swishing by — but truth to vegan: if you’re going to Deutschland for more than 48 hours, pack food that isn’t potatoes.

The good news is, I’ve successfully completed french fry aversion therapy. The better news is, there’s always Helles. And giant pretzels. And that really good mustard! Okay, never mind. You’ll be fine.

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

I thought skiing would be my nemesis…until I met my real opponent.

She’s six.

“Do you want to race?”

“Okay, but I’ll give you a head start.” Six, and telling it like it is. (I was surprised her name wasn’t Zoë, to tell you the truth.)

[Audio is about a minute. I think she and I should hit the road, Laurel and Hardy-style.]

31 plays

Nothing to See Here…

I thought for a moment I had “outgrown” blogging. I have toyed with the notion of the purpose it fills in my life before, and more lately it’s seemed like everything there is to say, either goes somewhere else (out loud to a continent four hours a day) can’t/isn’t my style to talk about (work/relationships) or it’s been posted (or isn’t spectacularly in need of being so.)

I mean, there are whole successful blogs that exist to chronicle what someone packs for lunch, but salad and tofu and oatmeal in Tupperware isn’t something that I can make exciting.

Nope. Still just lettuce. I work a lot, I work out in the time that’s left, and do regular stuff like order tags for my step cats. (OMG. “Petunia Pong” and “HRH Ping Haraschak” [of the Ping Dynasty] are going to be so stylish.)

And if it’s not tofu and cat tags, everything else I create is for work.

And then it hit me. In the middle of the second day of a two-day, remote broadcast, putting everyone from 8 year olds to nurses for wounded warriors on the air, that I spend my day telling stories that aren’t about me. It’s the exact opposite of what this space usually holds, and it’s precisely the reason I signed up. To move away from a plot of “Me, I, Mine and Me” and to just be the storyteller.

Perhaps I haven’t outgrown it — it’s just grown in to exactly what it’s supposed to be.

I don’t know what’s German for, “So many things to do, where have I BEEN around here,” and I don’t know what’s German for, “Getting ready to go make radio in the Alps,” but I do know what’s German for “vegan.” “Potato.”
Potato pancakes and pöp müsik, here I come.
(I’m making radio up at Edelweiss this weekend. Rights to the first “face plant in a snow bank” photos are yours.)

I don’t know what’s German for, “So many things to do, where have I BEEN around here,” and I don’t know what’s German for, “Getting ready to go make radio in the Alps,” but I do know what’s German for “vegan.” “Potato.”

Potato pancakes and pöp müsik, here I come.

(I’m making radio up at Edelweiss this weekend. Rights to the first “face plant in a snow bank” photos are yours.)

In a fit of Monday Mania, I spent the evening with Messrs. Turbo and Tax. W-2s dropped today, and sometimes I play the performance art pantomime that administrative adulthood is not beyond me.
It is, apparently. Another year, still no solar panels installed nor foreign tax shelters created.
Instead, Uncle Sam says I can deduct .59 for bubble bath and draw my dividends reading in bed.

In a fit of Monday Mania, I spent the evening with Messrs. Turbo and Tax. W-2s dropped today, and sometimes I play the performance art pantomime that administrative adulthood is not beyond me.

It is, apparently. Another year, still no solar panels installed nor foreign tax shelters created.

Instead, Uncle Sam says I can deduct .59 for bubble bath and draw my dividends reading in bed.

I’ve heard that my 87 lb., $100 tank-of-a-bike is not what one should use to do a triathlon. As much as I hate the idea of not being able to go off road whenever I want to, eventually I will have to give up the soul [quad]-crushing burden that is my precious.
I will have to get a road bike.
Shopping for whatever is cheapest, I think I found a way better idea. Triathon on an Adult Tricycle. Who wants to ride in the basket?

I’ve heard that my 87 lb., $100 tank-of-a-bike is not what one should use to do a triathlon. As much as I hate the idea of not being able to go off road whenever I want to, eventually I will have to give up the soul [quad]-crushing burden that is my precious.

I will have to get a road bike.

Shopping for whatever is cheapest, I think I found a way better idea. Triathon on an Adult Tricycle. Who wants to ride in the basket?