January 2009
Rye and Thai...
Colleen Yelps. I imagine anyway. That is to say she does research into new places to go, actually spends time considering options, and picks new favorites. I, on the other hand, have like a dozen places I always go and rarely stray. Nordstrom bar, what up!?
That’s how I ended up meeting her at Rye last night after watching the boss do a wildly entertaining Q&A at the Commonwealth Club....
“That’s a gay man.”
– I’m obsessed with the Ted Haggard and not just because way back in 2006 I went to see Jesus Camp with Beth and uttered this exact phrase upon hearing him say precisely two words, way, way before the scandal came out. He’s on Larry King tonight and boy howdy, I want to see the new Pelosi...
Your Trainer Jay Reportage Of Delight. . . A Scene...
Because what Thursday is complete without a Trainer Jay backhand?
Jay: That's a s***load of weight [gesturing to lat machine].
Me: Really [gets all excited and proud of self.]
Jay: Yeah. For you.
Me: COME. ON. Why do you have to ruin EVERYTHING? [Sobs into t-shirt hem.]
Jay: [Gets picture, remembers Mars/Venus rules] Okay. So like that's 70 lbs. right? I did the same exercise the other day with 90 lbs. [Record shows Jay is 6'3" at least, a DUDE, and works out for a living.]
Me: See?! [Skips a little.] That wasn't so hard!
At First I Thought @philleif Would Have Something... →
And then I realized I might. Hmm. Actually, I’m with W. on this one. Really. I see no need to relax any standards. The lawless colonists may not have royalty over here, but the White House is the closest thing to a palace we have, and dressing for the occasion of the office is just the respect it deserves. Dare I say W. may have respected the job more? Based on this weirdo “we’re...
Our Little Beth Is Growing Up.
I suppose it’s weird to search for oneself on your friend’s blog when you’re actually intending an internet-based toast to their birthday, not yours—but in looking for a picture of us, I found this post Beth wrote for my birthday, lo almost four years ago. I love it.
Her blog, perhaps the first one ever on the entire internet it seems, is now this priceless...
You Make Fun Until I'm Dialing 911 On Your Ass...
I don’t know what you were doing at 8 p.m. last night, but I had just witnessed, and more disturbingly heard a compound fracture on the trampoline at gymnastics. The girl taking the turn after me… well, let’s just say it didn’t end well.
As we all did a collective turn away in horror as it happened, and the coaches ran for ice, I ran for my phone. Now, I get all kinds of...
And Who Let Me Eat Like 5 Avocados. . .
I had dinner with the lovely Miss Spotswood last night. While I have some friends (ahem.) who will shun a mall-based dine-and-shop, one of Beth’s many, many charms is that she knows her way around a retail environment almost as well as yours truly. If there was an Amazing Race: Mall Edition, we’d be a team and clean. up. Just saying.
After sharing like a dozen too many details of my...
Okay, This Is... Feels a Tiny Bit Strange To...
so i’ll say it quietly. when i was watching cnn this morning while i was getting ready, amid all of the news of skillions of job-cuts, i had a flash: i’m glad obama’s our president. (see? i said it wasn’t a terminal opinion.)
so yeah. you heard me. now close your mouths, nothing more to see here.
WatchDear Scotty,
I know I tried this once in college on some ill-fated night when you were “new meat” and/or having none of it, but this video seals it: will you have my babies?
Love,
Zoe
How Is An Abortion Like a Sandwich? →
Yeah, I didn’t know the answer to that until today either.
Oh man, oh man. You have no idea. So today, right? Meeting Trainer Tim—not atypical for your Saturday. Usually we hang at Kezar, but today I casually suggested, “Hey! Let’s meet at the monkey bars on the Marina Green.” No biggie, right?
Uh, cue over the hill, here comes a… an army is really the only word. Mob, might work perhaps. Or as Tim said upon seeing the...
Jitterbug Is the Best Name Ever.
Colleen: i used 11 cellphone minutes last month
Me: omg. you could get one of those jitterbug phones they market to sr. citizens. in reader's digest with "real dial tones!"
Colleen: ahaha yes! that's what i need. upon researching this option: "At Jitterbug, our live, friendly Operators are based entirely in the United States."
Me: that's a marketing plan based on "data" i bet.
"Edit yourself before communicating to avoid... →
It makes so much sense now. And here’s me, going into radio silence. Stupid Mercury.
“If you have to rearrange the furniture…”
– And assemble your computer, mouse, scanner, and mainframe at the cafe… maybe you’d be more comfortable at home?
Oh, Jay. Bless Your Little Heart.
Jay: Okay, now when you get down to the bottom of your tenth negative pull up that I'm making you do at the very end of your workout when you're all used up and on the verge of tears and stuff, I want you to pull UP.
Me: Are you high?
Jay: Gravity is my friend. Not yours.
I Suppose It Says Something Unflattering. . .
If one had looked at 3 apartments in the past two days, one might think it weird to feel as though Suzanne Whang is following one around with her oh-so earnest and enthusiastic descriptions of the places, and weirder still that the voice won’t stop. Though, if one had watched more than one’s share of HGTV in the past month, one’d know that they now have this weirdo fake-Suzanne...
This Made Me Laugh That Kind Of... →
Deep-throated, up-to-no-good kind of laugh that you should avoid alone-in-public because, well, people stare.
I’d forgotten about the Scotty song about wanting to… make it with the president’s daughters. You know, Jenna and Barbara. Now… well the Obama moppets are beautiful but decidedly not 18. And as he says of the song now, “it’s gross, that’s...
Look, I Don't Care How Much It Hurts...
But if FDR could fake-walk his way through being elected president four times with nary evidence to be seen, DICK CHENEY. Really? Going to the inauguration in a WHEELCHAIR? For a “pulled muscle?”
I would have pounded some Vicodin and taken it like a man. But that’s just me.
