February 2009
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At Least You'll Know What's on my iPod...
Okay, so Chandra Levy, right? When that case broke, I had just moved from DC to not so far from her hometown in CA and was, as the rest of the world, gripped by the story. The one detail that stood out and has perpetually dogged me since—that she had googled her running route before she left the house.
People made such a fuss about “she left with no ID or cash or anything!”...
“We should not presume to make the decision for the families — we should...”
– Defense Secretary Robert Gates today on lifting the media ban on photographs of flag-draped coffins — but only if the families of the fallen approve. It’s almost as if Robert Gates is watching my videos… This seems to be a respectful and judicious solution.
“Sushi, just as soon as laundry appears. I’m going to have to refold it,...”
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And there it sits. It got taller while it was away at camp. I’m afraid to look, though they nicely put the underdrawers right at top of the bag. Um, how did they know?
“Like seeing a picture you didn’t know was taken of you.”
– I vaguely remember writing this. I remember picking out the picture anyway. But huh. The words? Kind of weird to read. I mean I allegedly selected them, but in the gross quantity of production, sometimes stuff gets lost. Probs like a kid at the Octo-Mom’s house. That said, I kind of...
Oh Hell to the No. →
“There are so many mice in one Florida county courthouse that they’ve been seen falling from ceiling tiles.”
Wait! There’s more:
“Some staffers say they check their handbags for stowaways before leaving the building each day.”
The Jay-iversary. . .
Me: You know how I want to celebrate you making me cry once a week for a year and also my one-third (the hardest part) of a pull up, on our jay-iversary next month?
Jay: How?
Me: With fries and beer at Burgermeister. Because usually about 6:30 on a Wednesday just when I'm getting here to see you, um, that's what I'd rather be doing.
Jay: You have no idea how many times I'm probably thinking the same thing.
I Am Not Now, Nor Have I Ever Been, An Adult.
Here’s how I know:
The addresses on my driver’s license, checks, personalized stationery, and mail have never, ever matched.
This “saving for retirement” thing is going to happen, um, really soon I swear.
No other living thing has ever depended on me for survival.
The above photo is the first time this has ever come to pass outside of real estate owned by an...
“Complex nerd equations…”
– What happens to my score if I unsubscribed to “Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me” but subscribed to another Lost podcast?
Inexplicable Things That Fill Me With Pride:...
I do not now, nor have I ever, owned a pair of pants with writing on the rear end.
WatchBwahahaha. Want to see a staring contest-meets-strip tease? Here’s a little SGAOJ post-Valentine’s action for all you ladies out there. And/or Scotty-afflicted men. You know who you are. <3
More Before 9 a.m., People. Or Rather, Move...
Cab Dispatcher: So, do you have lots of baggage?
Me: Ma'am, you don't know the half of it.
West Point Is Coming Around a Smidge? →
I’m just saying, I’m certainly not the only one to say something.
“So torn… who’s hotter? Young Biden or Young McCain?”
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Politicians’ yearbook pics. Fantastic. And by “fantastic” I mean “Biden.”
