July 2009
Diary of a Virus or What's in a Meme?
I’m over the word “meme.” It kind of means nothing now except “what everyone has seen on the web today.” If that’s called “going viral,” then it stands to reason that the object of interest is a virus, so I will henceforward be calling it such.
Here’s a weird case that WebMD (I wish that was really a doctor for the internet) could put in its...
“…Water from Hetch Hetchy tasted like it was filtered through the...”
– Everytime a genius sentence that’s never been uttered before is imagined, constructed, and posted on the internet, … I get a little … happy. ? Okay, I didn’t plan a destination for that sentence, but clearly whatever I’d come up would have been no match for the...
Yup. When I Lead a Mexican Cartel, My Name Will... →
Though “Smurf” is a strong contender.
Oh! Maybe I’m already in?
“A more serious system is used by Mexico’s Zetas, a gang of ex-soldiers working as Gulf Cartel hit men, who opted for military style nicknames that start with a Z — police radio code for commander — followed by a number. Z1 through Z10 are founding members.”
Where Is That Wayne Brady...?
C: so i am thinking of taking an improv class
Me: why?
C: because i think it sounds fun and i think it will help me with my daily interactions
Me: especially if your daily interactions are "quick, you're a guest to a party, and you're bringing something REALLY WACKY. annnnd.... GO." but yes. fun.
Why I Love Trainer Jay...
He uses height as a more civilzed way of discussing weight. As in, “Yeah you’re just like her, just a little taller.”
He will pansy-foot around questions of progress. As in, “So…how are you doing in terms of those things we’ve talked about. Are you, you know, seeing any movement you feel positively about?”
He has the charming good grace to accept me...
“In the Lost and Found of life, Respect, once it’s the former, is rarely...”
– It’s totally Kosh to quote yourself, innit?
Never? Nope Never.
It’s unbridgable: dream ideas to waking. Nothing can nor will ever be solved in a dream, nor will any notion make sense past the first cup of coffee. Though I really thought I’d stumbled on it last night: the perfect, brilliant idea.
It was going to be MY Captain Underpants.
Ensconced within a dream about the Jonas Brothers (Blame: Rolling Stone cover at the check out at Whole Foods)...
1 tag
Save Your Crying For Baseball...
I’m not easily offended. Really. You got an off-color joke? Come sit next to me. However if you want me whip my head around in a combination of abject horror/disgust/scorn/derision?
Whoohoo in my gym.
It’s not just the fact that if you have so much extra damn energy to be all whooping it up, you’re not working hard enough—it’s that some of us have a great reverence...
“I’m not sure what she does, but she spends more time on the internet than...”
– Wise. And not untrue?
Don't You Hate It When Some Whipper Snapper Steals...
A week ago I sat in my grandpa’s living room and hollered this exact argument, word for word. Then today, I read it on the webernets with John Stossel’s byline.
I know he’s controversial—or at the very least, his moustache is—but who knew we were the same person? The only difference? Proximity to Andy Rooney. Oh. Wait. 20/20≠60 Minutes. Well, whatever, I’m sure...
