March 2011
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Well! I Get Up Very Early.
Me: Boy, sure is dark in here since my light bulb burnt out this morning. Commissary after run, has to happen.
Me the Mildly Smarter Version: Well. It IS daylight outside. You COULD open the shutters. You know. Use the sun.
Me: DON'T TELL ANYONE THIS JUST HAPPENED.
Me the Mildly Smarter Version: Ohhhh, so won't. Shh. Promise.
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So Good...
Of the thousands of things I dig about the Bro, his fiery Leo response to my rant this morning is up there.
I am not a vegan yet…still have about a day…nor will I probably be a vegan past the 26 day parameter of the bet. I don’t share the common ideals of the vegan culture. I hunt I fish AND I eat the animals I have taken. However I am a human being and without question a better one than the...
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“No worries or cares. Regrets and mistakes they’re memories made.”
– Adele
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"Vegan" Parents Go To Jail... →
Breathing. OKAY. By modifying these creatures with the adjective “vegan” when “cruel,” “inhumane,” or “severely cognitively challenged” would be much more accurate, the point is missed in its entirety.
Vegan describes what the parents choose to eat. From this story at least, it features not at all into their decision to feed their 11 month old...
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Cycles...
Not to get all the Byrds about it (or that one Jesus-based Choose Your Own Adventure book) but it’s true. Life runs in cycles. To everything, Turn x3.
Sometimes you have so much to say, you can’t write enough. And sometimes you need to sit quietly and soak up that of others. To read and let your own crops law fallow.
Sometimes you need attention and constant stimulation. Sometimes...
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My Vote...
The summer of 1984 was the moment of my global awakening. I was six: the Olympics, the presidential election, and the impending arrival of the Bro to unseat me from the Throne of Only made the world expand from the walls of my house.
There was suddenly a place beyond.
Last week, Elizabeth Taylor died and you couldn’t turn a click without seeing a remembrance of her. No one could stop...
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Got it Covered...
YOU GUYS. This has been around for DAYS and nobody said? You all know I have complicated feelings for John Legend and I am fiercely in love with Adele.
SO. Hey. How ‘bout next time when one covers the other with a gospel choir and nobody tells me? Fired. Everyalls.
John Legend - Rolling in the Deep (Adele Cover) by johnlegend
Mmmmm. Do like. It’s completely different, it...
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How To Go Vegan...
Overnight. Cold Tofurkey.
Here I present you tips and tricks to get you shopping for your first day. This is for the Bro, who is going to be blogging his experience ditching meat at Five Alarm Vegan. Feel free to follow — this is also his blogging debut.
I HAVE CREATED A MONSTER. Bwhahahaha.
Okay. This is advice geared toward easy ways to shift single dude eating. It is the very...
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Tip Your Medium...
He: You have to listen to those flashes. Those are the only help you get in life.
Me: I just clicked back to your tab so I could glare at you. Anyway, this is playing out exactly how my psychic said it would.
He: Oh. I see. If I said that, you wouldn't listen at all. Someone who has put in the TIME to build a RELATIONSHIP with you. But someone who is LYING to you. Someone who is literally lying to you for MONEY? Oh, of course. Listen to that one.
Me: And yet! You're saying the same things. You're just doing it with more yelling.
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“You may easily have a stunningly romantic evening on March 26.”
– A stunning of romance seems the exact right unit of measure.
And you cannot believe if you don’t allow it space to occur. So I’m train-station rouletting. BECAUSE not six paragraphs later: “This month, you are fortunate in that Venus will be in Aquarius, for this means your best...
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Old Habits...
As a concept, habits get a die-hard bad rap. We’re always trying to beat them or change them. Somehow muscle them into submission — as if doing anything reflexively is, by its nature, pejorative. But doesn’t a behavior you don’t have to think about, just free up space for other thoughts?
And shouldn’t the act of trying to exert willpower over a habit then, be the bad...
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TGIFriday, Friday, Friday...
Me: I finally saw the Rebecca Black "gotta have my bowl" scene 'shopped with a picture of a bong. I checked my watch. A WEEK? It took a WEEK? Internet, you're fired.
He: This is why we can't have nice things.
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Meat Your Fate...
Never underestimate my capacity for a short attention span. So did the Bro learn this the very hardest way when he reminded me of the little matter of our year-long wager yesterday.
And now, the internet has spoken. And I do believe, fair little brother, that I am the decided victor in this bet of ours. And that appears to be a leather cowboy outfit you’re wearing there.
AHERM. Leather...
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WANNA BET?!?
OH YES. I DO. Did. Ohhh HEY you guys!!! Do you remember this bizness? The giant year-long, can you be in the Army for a year of Basic and training and still be a vegan, bet with the Bro is almost over.
A year.
Allow me to memory jog, because Lord knows I didn’t remember until I received this blessed email reminding me:
It is nearly the eve of the one year mark for out bet…I am...
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"HI. Looming fresh water crisis." →
I’m relinking this video for World Water Day (which got the focus of the seven o’clock hour this morning, plus six resources we’re running out of from a really aces article on Cracked. ((Tequila, helium, phosphorus, chocolate, medical isotopes, and yes. horrifyingly, water.))
I made it two years ago, arguing that reproduction won’t actually be a right when we can no longer...
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WatchI moved around the world to cover dancers who go to school an hour up 1-5 from Independence.
It’s a Small…yeah.
(The video might look better played here.)
Alternate title: What this kid does at work when not playing Katy Perry on your FM dial…
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On Repeat...
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In a Crowded Theater...
As a means of punctuation, the ampersand is wholly underrated. All curvy and linky and a promise of BUT WAIT. THERE’S MORE.
You know who gets trotted out and overabused like a Wham! song at Christmas? Yup. This guy!
Unless it immediately follows the word “Fire,” it’s really more an insincerity mark than exclaiming anything.
That upside down bobble head is for...
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Un Quartino...
Yesterday I took a break from unpacking and made hay. Saturday is the only weekend day things are open, so you shrug and submit to the schedule. It was also my three monthiversary of being here. A quarter. To celebrate and because I like markers of perspective like height hashes on a wall, I had lunch at the first restaurant I ever braved alone, way back in December.
Then? Translation book was...
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Tick Tock...
Me: But next weekend we get the Daylight Fake Time and the math gets easy again. Nine hours is better because the clock cuts into pieces that way.
He: Subtraction has never been an issue for me.
Me: Rude.
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Dark Side...
You win. I submit. You are always right, even when I think I am in charge of my own will.
Sigh. “March 19, you will go nowhere, your house is a shambles and needs attention.”
True and correct. The accuracy even shocks me, the devout, and I will keep proselytizing until you’re all convinced.
Plus, tonight is the giant full moon and the Vernal Equinox and quietly unpacking...
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DreamWeaver...
My sleep is hovery. Like twilight, and not the vampire kind. It’s tenuous and like…lifting weights. It comes in sets. Which is why I have dreams that precisely correspond with real life and seem wholly reasonable for days after.
After making the statement that I should be appointed Supreme Being in charge of who should be allowed to use social media* (yes, in real life. Keep up.) I...
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