April 2011
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Common...
Sometimes the English language lets us down. We have no L’esprit de l’escalier, no 1,000 words for snow, and no real word that means “when somebody important takes the time.”
We may not have a formal monarchy or class system, but denying one exists all the same is silly. We just create ours with red carpets and corner offices. We make our own royalty out of rank,...
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Take Me Out...
Getting to first base, there’s no crying baseball, Wild Thing…the relationship I have with the past time of our great land is cultural. I clearly remember that Angels in the Outfield made me cry on a plane in 1994, and I’ve been to the actual Field of Dreams AND bought the t-shirt. But so far, it hasn’t been…personal.
I’ve never been in a batting line up, and...
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“And in a real dark night of the soul it is always three o’clock in the morning,...”
– F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Crack-Up
And it is then in that moment I wake up, day after day. Though there’s Aristotelian comfort to be had. If soul is the perfect expression or realization of a natural body, if it is the truth of a body, then there is perpetual company in that isolation.
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The Bro, the Bet, the End...
And so, it ends. The Bro’s month of veganism. Here’s his wrap up — allow me to direct your attention to that which made me snort: “big bag of hammered buttholes.” And, “beans and magic.” Proof, I’d think, that I didn’t ghostwrite a single sentence. And now, the Q & A…
Me: I am so delighted and proud you did this. Even though it was...
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When Jordan Catalano Is in Rome... →
Yours truly wants to when in Rome, too. OH man bacchanalia, vomitoriums, ROME. 30 Seconds to Mars. Live. Rome. June 18th.
June! Like the month of my birth! And celebration thereof! I looked for more exclamation marks, but my key board ran out.
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#12: A Koosh Ball. →
Buzz McAllister’s shelves, item by item. This is it. Don’t get scared now.
OH YEAH. And the chest. Buzz, your girlfriend! WOOF!
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Take a Chance on an Unknown Vegan...
On this, the occasion of my five year vegiversary, five years to the day since the last time I ate meat, dairy, or eggs (the last meal in the format of a Turkey & Cheese Lean Pocket) I would like to wax a little Travis.
It completely makes sense. Alicia Silverstone is a goddess among vegans and once I got food poisoning from an Egg McMuffin which will never happen again because seriously,...
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NO-bey... →
So when I received my first lesson in feminism, though shalt not stand on any altar and pledge servitude, Mom was just raising me to be a princess.
Royally fair.
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Done Sprung...
Spring is supposed to be all rebirth, He is Risen, Aries-fueled manic renewal.
I’m so defiant. For my entire life, I’ve suffered from the opposite. For every April and May in memory, from Vernal Equinox to Summer Solstice, I suffer. I call it the Spring Sleeping Sickness for lack of accurate Web MD diagnosis, but from the moment my eyes open in the morning I’m desperate to sleep...
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Someone Like You...
Someone who knows what I love assumed quite rightly that I would love this interview with Adele explaining what each track on 21 means to her. And I do. But maybe most such because it’s shot so beautifully — including a sequence of her bare faced.
This could be the loveliest and bravest way I’ve seen her yet.
Stunning. And the video is worth every single minute too.
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A Tall Glass of Consideration...
When parts of your life story don’t line up, are you supposed to feel like a hypocrite? A maverick? Or somehow eccentric nutty pants?
There’s a video circulating this week, an horror-movie view, a “Meet Your Meat,” dairy-style.
On Tuesday, it will have been five years since I’ve consumed any animal products, dairy well included. However. I grew up on a farm, and...
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“Especially if you love someone.”
– “It’s just facts. Saying so only takes like three seconds. That’s nothing.”
And yet… Nothing becomes something in the eye of the beholder.
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Weird... →
I was JUST thinking, “I wonder what Chris Klein is up to.” American Reunion, apparently.
Related: if you haven’t watched Election with the director commentary turned on, we’re going to have a hole in conversation at some point.
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GTL vs. ZOE
Okay, we’ve known they were coming for months — but I figured you know, surely way down South or Milan or something. OH NO. The Jersey Shore is moving into Florence. Which is right up the street. A six super dollar train ticket or an hour in the car.
NOW. The burning question is: are they going to discover my favorite bar in the whole town?
The one that’s named after me and has...
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A Tale of Two Jessies...
We all have aspirations. Mine is to be the Patron Saint of Schlock. NBD.
As such, may I bestow this point of truth, my first golden tablet:
The name of all Unrequited Love, is Jessie.
The seminal texts of proof are Joshua Kadison’s “Jessie” and Rick Springfield’s “Jessie’s Girl.” Mmmhmm. I know. Just lie back and let it wash over you.
Now, despite the...
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"But He Can't See Without His Glasses!" →
My Girl is coming back to TV. You know, Anna Chlumsky, Veda Sultenfuss, star of the saddest bee sting movie of all time.
(Also, the clearly superior “stretch” role for Macaulay Culkin when compared to The Good Son.)
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“I’m good as long as he’s around; He lets me wear the crown; I do my...”
– Oh dear God. I am putty for anything pop, anything dance, the more ridiculous the better.
THIS? HOWEVER? This is not ridiculous. This is atrocious. Forgive my latent feminism, but as a woman, this makes my whole being recoil. And as a part of the female species? I would seven thousand times rather...
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