Surprise!!*
“You’re going to have to tell people,” said the Bro.
“I really don’t see why it’s necessary.”
“Because when it shows up, where are people going to think it came from?”
“I was considering, ‘We got a foreign exchange student.’ Seems like a solid explanation.”
The hesitation? Expecting in the world of the internet is gross. Undignified. Photos of peed-on sticks, microwave sonar (SCIENCE) scans of peoples’ insides, incessant [s]mugshot profile photos of the “bump” progression. Be excited. But using that excitement as a nine-month ploy for attention and validation of your supreme specialness? You peed on that. And took a picture of it. And posted it on the forevernet. Examine your choices.
This doesn’t even mention elaborate stake-out videos of “telling the dad” or tasteless bakery-goods filled photoshoot “announcements.” No cinnamon buns were harmed in the writing of this, though I am currently making banana bread. Unrelated, photoshoot not required.
So can you even tell people without any of those dramatics? I bet you can. Here goes:
This is merely saying someday, when this kid we’re having learns math (on a very advanced timeline, ahead of his grade level,) we expect this fun conversation: “Wait. When is your anniversary? And WHEN is my birthday?” And that around Thanksgiving*, a very tiny “foreign exchange student” is coming to live with us.
*The onesie graphic is missing several dozen exclamation points.
*Two air signs and fire sign? This is gonna be good.
