If you haven’t seen Listen to Me on the original vintage VHS, you cannot judge.
It’s a movie about a college debate team circa 1989, which not even the author of its very own wikipedia page cares to note centered around the fact that scholarship-kid Kirk Cameron was so poor in high school that he had RICKETS.
That was the disease they picked. In almost the 90s. Rickets.
But wait! There’s more!
The team eventually wins a chance to debate the issue of abortion in front of the Supreme Court. Along the way, the students learn lessons about life, love, friendship, and politics.
Abortion. In front of the Supreme Court.
I dabbled in debate in a college where the only championships painted on the side of our athletic bus were: Women’s Basketball, 1992; and Debate [all the rest of the years].
It is, therefore, the greatest sports film of all time.
Call it The Great Memorial ‘Lil Tykes Coupe list. No matter how fortunate your childhood (and mine was) there are those things you PINED for and never got. The unrequited wants.
For whatever silly reason, they were the toys your friends had that you coveted, the things you schemed your allowance toward and never saved enough, or they were just too fleeting, too trendy to be deemed a real need. I NEVER GOT A COUPE. This kid is so lucky.
Clearly, you survived.
That doesn’t mean that looking back on them doesn’t paint a real clear picture of how awesome it coulda been…
Call me! The Swatch twin phone — not only do you have your own phone jack in your ROOM, but two of you can talk at the same time attached by a cord! Think of the important business you could conduct. On your landline. (Related: Europe must be single-handedly keeping Swatch ticking. It’s everywhere.)
Guess who? My rear end never had a triangle on it, but not for lack of trying, every Back-to-School shopping trip from 89-92. My rear end just never fit in the things. Acid-washed sighs.
Freeze Frame! It was the 80s. It wasn’t enough to have a phone or a camera — they had to contain the pink-teal-lavender-yellow-PEACH palette. And some faux-Esprit french, right Le Clic?
I’ll Be in My Office… A loft bed with a desk under it? COME ON. It’s second only to a secret passage. Hi, Webster. This childhood deprivation will get taken out on nieces and nephews, mark my words and sign for the delivery.
Put Your Foot Down and Drive… You can’t have a Coupe list without showing the progression (psychological damage?) of what such disappointment can do to your taste in cars forever. This is the only vehicle I’ve ever wanted. It’s a 1990 Geo Metro. It is the closest thing to a toy the DMV will allow on the road.
In retrospect, it’s not so much a list, as an autobiography…
(What did you always want that you never got? Pics or it didn’t happen…)