Well, I did my taxes yesterday—not because I’m usually on top of the bureaucracy of my life, but because I’ll be at Basic on the official IRS Appreciation Day. (And I did them all by myself! Irrationally proud of conquering this task most adults accomplish on their own but whatever. God only grants so many gifts and forms and numbers ain’t on my list.)

And here, in refunds is a snapshot of my luck:

Federal Refund: $141 + State Tax Owed: $76 + Turbo Tax Fee: $66=

Total Tax Burden: $1

Sigh. Not delightful, not tragic, just even-steven. However, woman cannot stimulate the economy with equilibrium.

Now I don’t mind paying my share. I really don’t. Tax me, just use it well. I do mind however, that all the goods—the child credits, the homeowner sweepstakes refunds, the “Whoo you’re married here’s a nickel,”—is all crap I’m never going to qualify for. Where’s the “You take care of yourself without splitting expenses with anyone and aren’t using national resources by bestowing the country with a larger population! That’s awesome!” Prize?

Seems like that’s worth $1.79 at least.

• Tags
• death
• taxes
• certainty