Zoë Stagg

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It’s perishable, they said.
It’s refrigerate only, they said.
What about some nice Nasoya*, they said. 
You have to accept all risks of shipment, they said.
RISKS ACCEPTED.
In the name of science, I needed to consume a significant enough sample to ensure quality of the rest of the jar. Science says like a quarter of a cup. If this is my last blog post, you’ll know where to start the investigation.
*No. Nosoya. Grossoya.

It’s perishable, they said.

It’s refrigerate only, they said.

What about some nice Nasoya*, they said.

You have to accept all risks of shipment, they said.

RISKS ACCEPTED.

In the name of science, I needed to consume a significant enough sample to ensure quality of the rest of the jar. Science says like a quarter of a cup. If this is my last blog post, you’ll know where to start the investigation.

*No. Nosoya. Grossoya.

MIRACLE Whip…

I found a pusher. A source. An answer to my pleas.

Thanks to a steady stream of runners, this is the first time in Frankie’s whole life that we haven’t had Vegenaise in the fridge. I don’t want to count, but I think it’s like a jar a month. Nevertheless! I’m out. And the supply wagon don’t show up again until July.

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Finally.

Somebody who will ship! I assumed all risks of course, because anything worth having is worth the risk — and talk about customer service? They answered all my emails with actual answers typed by an actual human. I felt so close to them I almost made a “But Nasoya tastes like tears and hand lotion” joke.

I didn’t. I try to keep my condiment-ordering professional.

It’s my Vegisevenersary! What started as a 30-day challenge in 2006, is long enough ago to have an itch. It’s also long enough ago that it’s worth updating those facts and figures that answer the big question:
WHY ARE YOU VEGAN?
“If all the grain currently fed to livestock in the United States were consumed directly by people, the number of people who could be fed would be nearly 800 million,” — Ecologist David Pimentel, Cornell University’s College of Agriculture and Life Sciences.
The amount of fossil fuel energy required to make ONE quarter-pound hamburger could power a microwave for 18 minutes.
Not just vegetarian — vegan. Egg yolks cause the same heart-attack-causing intestinal bacteria as red meat.
Up to 70 percent of all antibiotics sold in the United States go to healthy food animals. There is “a definitive link between the routine, non-therapeutic uses of antibiotics in food animal production and the crisis of antibiotic resistance in humans.” — USDA, FDA, CDC.
Eliminating the consumption of meat is the best dietary method of reducing your water consumption footprint. Not to mention, “Red meat such as beef and lamb is responsible for 10 to 40 times as many greenhouse gas emissions as common vegetables and grains.”
Factory farms employ fewer people than similarly-sized conventional livestock production facilities, buy feed and supplies from outside the local area, and tank property values.
It reduces national healthcare costs. Cancer. Cholesterol. Obesity. Diabetes. “Appropriately planned vegetarian diets, including total vegetarian or vegan diets, are healthful, nutritionally adequate and may provide health benefits in the prevention and treatment of certain diseases.” — ADA
Feeding more people, keeping them healthier, allowing antibiotics to work when we actually need them, saving jobs, air, water, money…
That’s better than berry good. That’s terrific.

It’s my Vegisevenersary! What started as a 30-day challenge in 2006, is long enough ago to have an itch. It’s also long enough ago that it’s worth updating those facts and figures that answer the big question:

WHY ARE YOU VEGAN?

  1. “If all the grain currently fed to livestock in the United States were consumed directly by people, the number of people who could be fed would be nearly 800 million,” — Ecologist David Pimentel, Cornell University’s College of Agriculture and Life Sciences.
  2. The amount of fossil fuel energy required to make ONE quarter-pound hamburger could power a microwave for 18 minutes.
  3. Not just vegetarian — vegan. Egg yolks cause the same heart-attack-causing intestinal bacteria as red meat.
  4. Up to 70 percent of all antibiotics sold in the United States go to healthy food animals. There is “a definitive link between the routine, non-therapeutic uses of antibiotics in food animal production and the crisis of antibiotic resistance in humans.” — USDA, FDA, CDC.
  5. Eliminating the consumption of meat is the best dietary method of reducing your water consumption footprint. Not to mention, “Red meat such as beef and lamb is responsible for 10 to 40 times as many greenhouse gas emissions as common vegetables and grains.”
  6. Factory farms employ fewer people than similarly-sized conventional livestock production facilities, buy feed and supplies from outside the local area, and tank property values.
  7. It reduces national healthcare costs. Cancer. Cholesterol. Obesity. Diabetes. “Appropriately planned vegetarian diets, including total vegetarian or vegan diets, are healthful, nutritionally adequate and may provide health benefits in the prevention and treatment of certain diseases.” — ADA

Feeding more people, keeping them healthier, allowing antibiotics to work when we actually need them, saving jobs, air, water, money…

That’s better than berry good. That’s terrific.

According to this survey, vegans are now 1% of the US population.

One Percent. Sound familiar?

That means there are more vegans than there are Americans serving in the military.

It also means that if you include vegetarians, 9 million US adults don’t have to worry about what My Little Pony meat is where. If you’re going to eat a cow, why is a horse all of a sudden so objectionable? Is it because you feel tricked? After all, horse meat is in baby food in Italy — though I suppose since that label has the right picture, it’s all okay.

It’s been just shy of seven years since I’ve eaten meat — even while being part of the vegan One Percent while serving in the less-than-one-percent-Army — and it’s gotten to the point where when I see someone talking or posting about eating meat, the only thought that occurs to me is:

“Really? We’re still doing that?”

(If you’re in the growing percent that isn’t, I made you some fun words on pictures. Bon app-etite!)

“Oh honey, you baked.” (Tricia, are you behind this?)
Nope, we No-Baked, which of course yields a batch of highly-photogenic oat piles — and also kind of delicious cookies. Cookie blobs.
In the “manage protein without too much soy” quest, I got protein powder, forgetting, as I always do, that I don’t really like, nor have the multi-ingredient, appliance-dirtying yen to make smoothies. What else can you do with the stuff? Cue search for “baking something marginally palatable with protein powder.”
Or rather, “No-Bake Chocolate-Oatmeal Protein Cookies.”
We varied the recipe slightly — 1 cup of real sugar, because the idea of that much Splenda makes my insides rust, two spoonfuls of margarine to keep it vegan, vanilla protein powder because that’s what I have, and a handful of shoko müsli thrown in to keep it legit.
They’re pretty good, even if the flavor profile is mostly just “sweet.” They’re also close enough to breakfast foods to make a dangerous game of rationalization.
But most importantly, pronouns chosen carefully, these cookies represent the first extracurricular project we’ve managed so far. The first thing outside of the eating, cleaning, exercising circle of survival. We took on an extra project, not during nap time, and did okay. She was even almost, mildly, if you squint your eyes, interested in my narration of the amounts needed and why we weren’t dirtying up measuring spoons when guessing is good enough.
She had no interest in licking the spoon, however. Yet.
Baby steps.

“Oh honey, you baked.” (Tricia, are you behind this?)

Nope, we No-Baked, which of course yields a batch of highly-photogenic oat piles — and also kind of delicious cookies. Cookie blobs.

In the “manage protein without too much soy” quest, I got protein powder, forgetting, as I always do, that I don’t really like, nor have the multi-ingredient, appliance-dirtying yen to make smoothies. What else can you do with the stuff? Cue search for “baking something marginally palatable with protein powder.”

Or rather, “No-Bake Chocolate-Oatmeal Protein Cookies.

We varied the recipe slightly — 1 cup of real sugar, because the idea of that much Splenda makes my insides rust, two spoonfuls of margarine to keep it vegan, vanilla protein powder because that’s what I have, and a handful of shoko müsli thrown in to keep it legit.

They’re pretty good, even if the flavor profile is mostly just “sweet.” They’re also close enough to breakfast foods to make a dangerous game of rationalization.

But most importantly, pronouns chosen carefully, these cookies represent the first extracurricular project we’ve managed so far. The first thing outside of the eating, cleaning, exercising circle of survival. We took on an extra project, not during nap time, and did okay. She was even almost, mildly, if you squint your eyes, interested in my narration of the amounts needed and why we weren’t dirtying up measuring spoons when guessing is good enough.

She had no interest in licking the spoon, however. Yet.

Baby steps.

How To Run After Baby…

Since establishing the big quitting point and picking up sneaks again, running feels different. There’s a lot more to balance and account for when you’re training for an endurance event with a new baby — enough more, that I got to Googling, and didn’t find what I was looking for. SO, for searching purposes only: Fueling for Training to Run a Half Marathon While Breastfeeding.

That done, we can use the less formal euphemism for that last bit — ahem, “Cross Training.”

Because that’s kind of how it behaves when you factor it in to arranging your running schedule. It needs fueling and rest on its own— more on that coming. First, you have to get one foot in front of the other. Here’s what’s worked for me so far:

Be Flexible. When you wake up the morning of a planned long run, with fresh snow slicked with freezing rain, renegotiate. Before, I would have just spent the extra ten minutes it took to find gloves and gone out in it anyway. Now, with a kiddo and a four-story house, I can’t afford to be hobbled by a “fell on the ice” injury, so even though long runs especially are easier out than in, I brought it inside.

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Be Strict: And then right out of the other side of my mouth — make your run the very first thing you get to the second you have a chance. The first nap of the day, the sneaks go on, whether I’d rather nap with her or not. If I’ve gotten my run done, I feel like I’ve accomplished something and can better manage the rest of the day, whether my To Do list considers it productive or not. Likewise, if you’ve got a second pair of hands — do your run the first moment you can. Dawdling over coffee and running later can sound tempting, but it doesn’t get mileage on the log. Run first, dawdle and nap later.

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Be Ready: My shoes live ON the treadmill. When I fold laundry, sports bras and socks get piled there too. Your window to train might be fleeting — don’t waste it trying to find gear and suit up.

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Try Not to Compare: Did I notice that my 10k PR time passed just about the time I’d logged 5 miles, and that I used to get up and run this far to the beach and back before work and now it’s a “long run”? Yeah. But I also noticed that this is the furthest I’ve run in about a year, the longest I’ve ever made it on a treadmill, and that I had a kid 8 weeks ago. Eh, I think it’s okay.

Make the Training Schedule Work For You: I figure as long as I get the week’s mileage in, I can do it in the order I need to. I’ve found with the extra demands of “Cross Training” and less-than-quality sleep, I need my rest days before longer mileage. This week I took them before my five and seven, instead of where the calendar pegged them. It’s pretty easy to feel physically zapped without even thinking about expending extra energy, so stocking up beforehand is way more important now.

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Fuel: Before I started running today, I’d already spent about 250 calories “Cross Training.” The tricky part here is that if it was spent in the gym, you’d mentally register that, and probably fuel accordingly. But if you spend it sitting on the couch in your jammies, it’s easy — really easy — to forget to account for the deficit. This calculator doojobber says that my calorie needs are about 2,500 a day, with running and “Cross Training.” Not nothing.

Since I’m vegan, it’s hard to run if you feel full, and I’m trying to get a lot of protein from non-soy sources, here’s where I’ve been getting a lot of that calorie load from. Nuts, avocados, nut butters, and healthy fat toppings like olive oil are pretty much AYCE. I need them for both “sports” and I figure they’ll be easier to lift out later when I don’t need as much, than if I was getting the calories from more habit forming sugary/carby sources. Add to that, high protein/high fat means it’s leaves you slower, good if you don’t get to refuel right away. PLUS, it helps the rampant “runger” exacerbated by “Cross Training.”

Also on the list: soy yogurt, whole oat cereal, molasses, all kinds of veggies (especially spinach, broccoli, brussels sprouts, bright peppers) sweet potatoes, hummus, and fruit with dark, dark chocolate for desserts, and I feel like I’m getting quality and balance without too much volume.

This morning before I ran, I had oatmeal made with almond milk, a banana, and a big spoonful of almond butter. It lasted through seven miles, and all the way until lunch — ‘chickn salad’ with veggie protein strips, celery, apples, avocado, mixed nuts, and poppy seed dressing with a few crackers. I didn’t need a snack all afternoon.

I suppose the tl;dr version that I was searching for in the first place is: focus on calorie density, good fats and proteins, complex carbs, and whatever you do, keep-

HYDRATING: If you’re sweating and “Cross Training” water is flying out of your body — even in the dead of winter, I’m feeling it.

So, in my absolutely non-expert (way, way long) conclusion: Eat well, run first, hydrate always.

At first it seems absurd. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created to want a cheap chicken sandwich.
But imagine it’s not the most tangential tie-in in the history of promotions — what are you “honoring” with that $1.04? Though suppliers vary and are dozens of times trickier to track down than calorie counts even, Burger King and Tyson both acknowledge each other in the supplier*/product chain.
Tyson was indicted in 2001 for smuggling immigrants, a problem that appears to persist:

…follows a pattern it sets in the United States – doing everything in its power to lower wages, cut benefits and reduce workplace standards for employees, particularly immigrant workers.

I believe, in the birthday we’re “honoring” with a Burger King chicken sandwich, there was a similar labor complaint. We all know how that turned out.
Even if your Happy Birthday America! chicken sandwich isn’t supplied by Tyson, guilty pleader in 20 instances of abuse against the Clean Water Act, among many other abuses against man, beast, and planet, Burger King’s own record isn’t so tasty.

“The Burger King Corporation, home of the Whopper, hired a private security firm to spy on the Student/Farmworker Alliance, a group of idealistic college students trying to improve the lives of migrants in Florida.”

They also refused to comply with the “Campaign for Fair Food with a stated goal to increase the wages of the [tomato] pickers by 1¢ per pound picked above the 45¢ paid per bucket,” among many others.
And as long as they’re bringing up history to shill sammies**, it reminds us that it seems we’re all condemned to repeat English, too.
*The Tyson ties extend to the pork which, along with eggs, BK has pledged to make cage-free by 2017.
**But if you can spend 30 seconds in an active chicken coop, and live to not imagine that horrific smell on top of your bun, you’re the true revolutionary hero.

At first it seems absurd. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created to want a cheap chicken sandwich.

But imagine it’s not the most tangential tie-in in the history of promotions — what are you “honoring” with that $1.04? Though suppliers vary and are dozens of times trickier to track down than calorie counts even, Burger King and Tyson both acknowledge each other in the supplier*/product chain.

Tyson was indicted in 2001 for smuggling immigrants, a problem that appears to persist:

…follows a pattern it sets in the United States – doing everything in its power to lower wages, cut benefits and reduce workplace standards for employees, particularly immigrant workers.

I believe, in the birthday we’re “honoring” with a Burger King chicken sandwich, there was a similar labor complaint. We all know how that turned out.

Even if your Happy Birthday America! chicken sandwich isn’t supplied by Tyson, guilty pleader in 20 instances of abuse against the Clean Water Act, among many other abuses against man, beast, and planet, Burger King’s own record isn’t so tasty.

“The Burger King Corporation, home of the Whopper, hired a private security firm to spy on the Student/Farmworker Alliance, a group of idealistic college students trying to improve the lives of migrants in Florida.”

They also refused to comply with the “Campaign for Fair Food with a stated goal to increase the wages of the [tomato] pickers by 1¢ per pound picked above the 45¢ paid per bucket,” among many others.

And as long as they’re bringing up history to shill sammies**, it reminds us that it seems we’re all condemned to repeat English, too.

*The Tyson ties extend to the pork which, along with eggs, BK has pledged to make cage-free by 2017.

**But if you can spend 30 seconds in an active chicken coop, and live to not imagine that horrific smell on top of your bun, you’re the true revolutionary hero.

Top 5 Reasons to Go Vegan…

“Huh. I haven’t eaten cheese in six years.”

“I’m sorry.”

I’m not. It’s the easiest thing in the world, a decision I made six years ago today, and arguably the one practice an individual can undertake that has the greatest impact. Sure, vote, volunteer, do all that — but changing what you consume, reaches WAY beyond yourself.

Need more reasons to join me? Here’s five (give or take an archive):

  • You’d Rather Eat Food Than Poop and Suffering. When Burger King acknowledges that the farming practices that supply their restaurants are bad enough to change, can you IMAGINE the rest of the stuff you’ve put in your mouth? Try it. Look here, then look at your scrambled eggs.
  • You Will Not Feel Deprived. How could you possibly when you can make your own falafel and Ethiopian red lentils from scratch? “So what do you eat?” “Everything.” Animal products aren’t even a sliver of the pie chart of consumables. Mmm. Pie. (Yep, you can have that too.)

  • You Enjoy a Habitat That Supports Carbon-Based Life. “More than two-thirds of all agricultural land is devoted to growing feed for livestock, while only 8 percent is used to grow food for direct human consumption…the global livestock industry uses dwindling supplies of freshwater, destroys forests and grasslands, and causes soil erosion, while pollution and the runoff of fertilizer and animal waste create dead zones in coastal areas and smother coral reefs.” Hey, if a 12 year old can understand and articulate the impact, how about we help out and not flood our planet with manure bogs. Unless you like that sort of thing.
  • It’s Hard to Find a Reason TO Eat It. When the New York Times has to run an essay contest to come up with an ethical argument for eating it, isn’t it way easier to shun it than to try and justify your nugget? (I justified wearing this shirt today to celebrate my vegiversary on account that it’s true in a sense and also funny.)

  • You Feel Like Not Being Sick. I am not allowed to donate blood. I am healthy with an often-needed blood type — but no one can benefit from it l because I lived in the UK after 1980. Mad cow. So, you can’t give blood if you have AIDS or if you’ve eaten beef. And yes, it was a dairy cow they found this week, but holes in your brain v. hamburger… Not to mention all the good fats, the good cholesterol, the actual fuel your body needs, don’t get spelled E-I-E-I-O.
  • Honorable Mention: Vegenaise. Game, set, mayo.
Sure, compelling and sensical given that two-thirds of this marble and two-thirds of us is water.
Though, how’s about this:

Many marine ecologists think that the biggest single threat to marine ecosystems today is overfishing.

“Populations of top predators, a key indicator of ecosystem health, are disappearing at a frightening rate, and 90 percent of the large fish that many of us love to eat, such as tuna, swordfish, marlin, cod, halibut, skate, and flounder - have been fished out since large scale industrial fishing began in the 1950s.”
Seems like the real “top predators” are us. How about keep it clean — AND out of your mouth.

Sure, compelling and sensical given that two-thirds of this marble and two-thirds of us is water.

Though, how’s about this:

Many marine ecologists think that the biggest single threat to marine ecosystems today is overfishing.

“Populations of top predators, a key indicator of ecosystem health, are disappearing at a frightening rate, and 90 percent of the large fish that many of us love to eat, such as tuna, swordfish, marlin, cod, halibut, skate, and flounder - have been fished out since large scale industrial fishing began in the 1950s.”

Seems like the real “top predators” are us. How about keep it clean — AND out of your mouth.